The Poo Chronicles, Part 3

The problem with bib shorts is that you have to practically strip naked to do your business.  This can sometimes be a challenge when you're riding your bicycle and have to tend to things in out-of-the-ordinary surroundings.  Porta-Potties are the worst.

Picture this.  I'm about 20 miles into an organized ride.  It's a nice ride, and they have porta-johns at the rest stops.  This is actually kinda rare, and is really appreciated.  Anyway, I had a quick breakfast on the way to the ride, and now it wants out.  I see a rest stop ahead.  I pull over, get in line, and clinch up tight until I can get into the "stall".  Once in there, I do a juggling act involving taking off my helmet and glasses, emptying my jersey pockets, and finally taking the jersey off, all while making sure nothing touches the ground.  That's not easy.

When I'm done, I decide that there's no way I can put it all back on in that stall and not have some sort of major dunking accident.  So, I toss open the door and exit with my jersey in one hand and my helmet and other stuff in the other.  It is totally obvious to all looking what I've been up to.  Couple that with the fact that it took me quite a while to do all I neaded to do, and you begin to get the picture.

Standing in the front of the line to get in next are three cute girls.  They take one look at me, assess the situation, and immediately switch lines to the next john.  I then look up and notice several of my friends who have come along behind me and stopped at the rest stop as well.  They've witnessed the whole thing and are sitting there laughing at me and making jokes at my expense.

Sometimes it's hard to have any dignity.