Shawn: "Dude, is there is a stain on the ass of my shorts?"
Me: "Yep"
Shawn: "Dammit, I sharted!"
Now picture one very skinny dude buck naked with his ass in a stream in a canyon in the heart of the Texas hill country. Scrubbing his crack with a hand full of stream gravel. With a group of his friends standing around taunting him. He finally gets out, puts his clothes back on, and gets back on his bicycle.
Me: "How's it now?"
Shawn: "My shorts are wet and my crack is chafing."
Me: "At least we only have 30 miles left in the ride..."
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